I've fallen (twice) and I can't get up

OK, so I’ve fallen twice in the last month. Not much hurt other than my pride. A little sore both times, but no bleeding. And, my lawyers require me to say, no alcohol was involved either time.
If you really love me like you claim to, you’ll know I celebrated my 65th birthday in June. Both falls have been since then. I think the two things – my birthday and falling – are related. And not in a familial way.

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