The sticky notes are piling up on my 'writing desk'

Faithful readers will remember in last week’s column I discussed my recent absence from this space. I don’t remember what lie I gave as the reason (guess I’m not a faithful reader), but, during my sabbatical the potential column topics piled up on my writing desk.
Yes, I have a writing desk. Wanna make something of it?
I’m going to try to get caught up. Unfortunately, some of my notes don’t make much sense.
For instance – one of my notes says, “Why do people say happy, happy birthday?” I have no idea why I thought that would make a good column. As a matter of fact, I’m not even sure I’ve ever heard someone say “Happy, happy birthday.” I assume I have or I wouldn’t have written the note, huh?
Another note says, “Why am I always asking the wrong question?” I added, parenthetically, “People are always answering what I didn’t ask.”
If my memory serves, that note is work-related. It seems when I ask one of my co-horts a question, the answer I get rarely is in answer to the question I asked.
“Why did we miss our revenue budget so badly this month?”
“Donald Trump said Ted Cruz is a liar. His wife sure is pretty, but I can’t understand what she says. She must be one of them aliens the wall’s going to keep out.”
“Have we received the payment yet from XYZ Business? I don’t have enough cash to make the next payroll.”
“My car is making a funny noise. It only does it when I turn left from the right lane. We probably need to have a service professional look at it. They sure are expensive. Be better to just trade it.”
“Why were you late for work this morning?”
“We had communion at church this Sunday. We used to call it the Lord’s Supper. The next thing you know, we’ll be praying to Pope Trump.”
Another of my column notes was about an Associated Press story I printed after Rep. Mike Pitts introduced his register the journalists law. I read several conflicting reasons why he felt this was a good idea.
He told the Associated Press he came up with the law after media in other states published the names and address of concealed weapons permit holders.
Forget for a moment the idea that registering journalists in South Carolina was a good idea to get back at journalists “in other states” who had done something.
“Firearms are a target for thieves,” Pitts told the AP. By publishing the names of CWP holders, the media “pinpointed targets of opportunity for thieves to say, ‘Here’s a good place to break in.’”
But I thought having a gun in my house made me safe from thieves, etc. Turns out it encourages them.
My final, slightly out of date column note is this: before Clemson played in the National Championship game in Santa Clara, Calif., I printed out the driving instructions from the Carolina Panther’s stadium in Charlotte to the home of Super Bowl 50.
Faithful readers will remember I have grounded myself and no longer get on the metal tubes of death to hurl myself through the air at 30,000 feet. So, if I was going to watch the Tigers take on the Tide, I was going to drive.
Real faithful readers will ask, “Why in the name of Cocky would you want to drive to California to watch Clemson play football? Haven’t you said you wouldn’t walk across Broad Street to see Dabo?”
Yes, I have.
But, the driving instructions were interesting. They were 20 pages long and took me from Charlotte to Atlanta, down past Auburn University (ironic, ain’t it?), to New Orleans, Houston, Austin, Phoenix, Berkeley and, finally, to Santa Clara.
AAA said I was going to drive 3,104.6 miles (one way) and it would take 46 hours driving time (and two minutes).
Where else do you get this kind of information? Aren’t you glad I’m back?

(Larry Franklin is publisher of The Chronicle. His email address is lfranklin@clintonchronicle.com. His blog can be read at www.MyClintonNews.com.)

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